Long Time, No See

Yes, it's been a long while since I've blogged, I know.  

Some minor things have been happening.  First among them is that Ladybug took ill and had to spend the entirety of last week on unpaid leave of absence.  That put a lot of work on my shoulders, let me tell you.  It mostly meant a lot less free time for me to do much of anything of a personal nature, and this blog absolutely falls under the auspices of "personal."

The kids have been waking up a lot at night lately.  Maybe it's the change in season, with the evenings getting longer, that is causing this restiveness.  Maybe it's the generalized illness circulating around the house (I was sick as well).  Growing pains perhaps.  They share a room now, so there's bound to be an adjustment period there as well.

Work has tailed off a bit.  I managed to submit a timesheet with no overtime at all, and last weekend, for the first time in a long time, I got no calls and no work requests.  I was sick, so in the end, it's a good thing no one called, but the general downturn in OT has meant that I've been studiously avoiding being on the computer if at all possible, devoting more time to the kids and family.  Lately, once I get home, the computer is just something providing ambient light near the kitchen.

But there is, by far, a larger item that it has taken me a while to come to grips with.

On the day after my last blog entry, I got a phone call from someone I hadn't heard from directly in some time.  An ex-coworker of mine, Erik, from back when I taught Java with GE.  This would have been 2001-2002.  So, 6 years or so, since I got more than an e-mail forwarded from him detailing some humorous vignette or call to action to save some legislation or kill it.  

We were a pretty close knit bunch.  Five instructors: myself, Danny, Dave, Crystal, and Blood Dragon.  Also, kat>>/dev/null, for a while, though she broke our hearts by moving to San Francisco.  Diane was our receptionist, Cindy was our marketdroid.  There were even some contract instructors that we worked with a lot, Erik being one of them.  We had a lot of fun, and spent a good deal of time outside of work together as well.  Since that time, I haven't worked with a closer-knit bunch of people, and, obviously, I still consider them all to be very good friends.  We're all still in touch, one way or another.

Well, Erik called to tell me that Dave had been killed in a motorcycle accident that morning.

I was heartbroken.  Dave was such a fantastic person, personable, a loving husband, a devoted son, and so funny I almost had to cancel class one day because of something he said over lunch that I just couldn't get out of my head.  He also managed to seriously annoy Crystal on a regular basis, but, well, that was pretty endearing to me as well.  I went to his wedding reception and saw him graciously accept six (that's one more than five but not quite seven) crock pots.  He later regifted one to me on the occasion of my wedding to Ladybug.  I had a good chuckle about that as well.  We use it to make chili.

Dave and I were the last employees in Phoenix when they closed the center.

I saw him a couple months after that at a lunch with the Old Gang.  He, Danny and Crystal had all moved to Sierra Vista.  He and Danny were working together at the army base, and tried to convince BloodDragon and I to join them.  Crystal also talked up the benefits of life in Sierra Vista, thus earning the trio the nickname of SV Rotary Club.  I really couldn't leave Phoenix, I like it here too much.  All my family is here.  They had carved out a very nice life in Sierra Vista, though.  I can't say I wasn't a little envious that they had managed to keep working together.  That was really the last contact I had with him.  I visited Crystal once, and she has been to Phoenix a couple of times, but I never managed to arrange getting the Old Gang together again.  News of Crystal's impending nuptials this summer might have been the impetus we'd need.

But Erik's call put a stop to all of that.  

I've been struggling with how I feel.  Oh, there's sadness and regret there.  Also happiness that I was, ever so briefly, walking in his circle.  Honestly, though, this is the first time that someone in my age group that I care about has died.  Sure, back in high school, a couple of popular kids were killed when they, in an alcohol induced stupor, drove their birthday present Mustang into a telephone pole.  As a teenage outsider, I didn't have much sympathy.  In fact, I had no sympathy.  Worse than that, I considered that if I had been standing in front of the telephone pole and was now just as dead, all the outpouring of grief would still be for the idiot underage drinkers with their silver spoon.  But I digress (and was 17).  All of my grandparents are dead, so it's not like I've never been to a funeral or anything.  And people I've cared deeply about have died, and I've reacted as most people do.  But this was mortality looking me smack in the face and saying, "Someday, I'm coming for you, buddy."  Old people die.  Young people die.  Everyone dies.  I know this, at a logically clinical level.  This was more like the personification of Death riding up on his skeletal steed, flaming sword in the scabbard, ethereal scythe in hand, and pointing at my face, the ultimate promise made.

It's not fear, exactly.  I don't fear death.  Most people who've driven with me for any length of time come to that conclusion.  It's just not something that I've really thought about.  And now I'm thinking about it.  But I'm not sure, yet, what I am thinking.

Anyway, now you know what would keep me off the blogosphere for over two weeks.  I don't plan on letting that happen again for a while.