Clearly Insane

So, the neighbors on both sides of me have tween boys.  When they're not out playing baseball, they're playing football, or basketball.  Since we're between seasons, somewhat, right now, they're out riding bikes.  All good, healthy activities for a young lad which don't bother me in the slightest.

I really don't worry too much about these boys.  They generally do their thing, and it's no skin off my back.  A few months back, they were playing basketball on my hoop (or, rather, the previous owner's hoop) and knocked out one of my floodlights.  Apparently, one of the parents caught them at it, because they showed up the next day with a replacement for me.

Why do I say one of the parents caught them at it?  Because since then, they've been running amok.  They live on either side of my house, so, it started simply enough with them tramping across my lawn to get back and forth.  I don't mind that.  It's a lawn, not a Picasso.  Then it was bikes across my lawn.  Less happy about that, because it resulted in a couple of broken sprinkler heads.  The skid marks in my driveway didn't impress me much either.  The various balls and trash in my lawn?  I just threw that back on to their lawns and left it at that.

One day, I came home to see them hanging from my basketball hoop.  The last thing I need is some sort of lawsuit because one of them falls from my hoop, so I took the hoop down.  I don't use it, so it really didn't matter to me.  Frankly, I was happy enough to let them use it, until they started using it irresponsibly.  In the end, they both have their own hoops, but they're not embedded in concrete like mine, so they tend to blow over regularly.

Evidently, though, this state of affairs didn't meet with the approval of these kids, so, on Saturday, they decided that a little game of "ring and run" would be fun.  The sad part is that they're not bright enough to plan their escape properly, so they'd run past my front window where I could see them.  Morons.  At least when I'd do it, I'd do it with a proper escape planned.  How to deal with this?  Ignore it until they get bored?  Not really an option.  I don't want to have one of my own kids napping when one of these pests decides to ring my doorbell.

Pests.

Ah, there's the key.  So, I did what I'd do when any other unwanted pests were fornicating around in my yard: I went out and turned the hose on them.  Then I told them that running past my front window was stupid.  And that the next time my doorbell rang and no one was there, I'd take it to their parents, even if it wasn't them.  Did I mention I was still in my karate clothes?  That my hair was all up on end?  That I looked, to put it mildly, like a psychotic chainsaw killer?

In any case, I later saw them pass my house on the other side of the street, so I think I got my point across, and also put it into their heads that they were dealing with a crazy adult.  So, I might have solved all my problems in one insane rant.  Certainly, their parents didn't come round asking why I turned the hose on their kids, so I imagine the kids are pretty clear where the line is drawn now.